Past Present and Future

Past: 

Photo from May 16, 2022:  2022 was the year before our son got married for the second time.  It was during a road trip to introduce his then fiancé (now wife) to his dad.  

The date is of interest. It was the 41st anniversary of the wedding of DXH and me.  Friday was the 45th anniversary of it.  We have been divorced three years longer than we were married.

I still care about the man.  Being me, I tend to fuzz out the bad parts and paint the good ones with a pink cloud filter.  

Travel and weather (sort of Present):

My son's in-laws (DIL's parents) went off on a family adventure.  I think a nephew or niece's wedding, two states away.  Son, DIL, and FGC were bird-sitting the parakeets while they were away.  While they were gone, and on the day they drove home (Monday), tornado alley set up shop around here.

Ember experienced her first "real" tornado warning with sirens ablare Sunday evening.  I don't think it hurt that we did a tornado drill a few weeks ago, where the test sirens were a cue to go down and kennel up in the lowest level of the house.  During the warning, I brought a kitchen chair down and sat next to her crate.  It was her normal sleep time anyway, so she just curled up and did just that in a different spot.  What a good girl!

Those are my knees under the blankie.  After the front had passed and they were warning Iowa and Wisconsin, we went back upstairs to her regular crate for the remainder of the night.

DIL's parents got home safely early Monday afternoon, before that day's storms started in.

Future:

The birds (all four of them, DIL's cockatiels and her parents' parakeets) will go stay with her parents at some point this week.  Because Carl serves as my son's PTSD security blanket, they will bring him over "at the last minute" before they leave town.  He'll stay with Ember and me.  The younger generation folks (including FGC) will go road-tripping for five days.  I'm actually looking forward to the dog-chaos, saving up my energy for it.

I gave the neighbor on the other side of my fence fair warning of the upcoming "barky dog" visit.  

Speaking of the barky dog, the things that drive him totally nuts are the squirrels.  The squirrels in my yard are pretty doggone cheeky.  On Saturday, one of them was honest to gosh ON MY DECK, drinking out of the dog's water bowl!  I did not have time to take a photo, because I slid the door open and the silent chasing pup (Ember) took over.  No more squirrel on the deck.  Maybe Carl will teach them to be a little less cheeky.  But I kind of doubt it.

I also gave the neighbor heads up about the upcoming deck project.  When I took Ember to day care on Tuesday morning (today), I changed her reservation to NOT go to day care next Tuesday.  I also booked her in for Monday through Thursday starting June 1.  

There it is, past, present, and future!  Life is good.  Keep on Sparking, my friends!

I pulled an old paper journal off the shelf

I pulled an old paper journal off the shelf

In it, I discovered the reason why we journal (those of us who do).  I found entries that described dreams I had forgotten about.  I discovered large gaps in time.  My last entry in this particular volume was in 2018, before my brother passed.  I had started it in 2011, before I retired, and in the initial entries, I dedicated it to discovering myself.

"Every time I have an interaction with another person, it contributes to my cumulative concept of myself.

"Did my behavior in that interaction live up to that concept?  Or did it reveal something about me that will alter that concept?"  May 29, 2011

From a timeline perspective, this would be the end of the month of my first half marathon.  I was clearly (from the writings) working on the food side of the health equation, working on abstinence from overeating / binge eating.  I talked of living in accordance with one's values to achieve inner peace.

I labeled these as my values:

• kindness
• tolerance
• intelligence
• health
• preparedness
• planning

Then I added a couple that I marked as one I felt I "ought" to value, but that my behavior was not supporting

• organization
• order

I'm not sure why I put these down, but I labeled them as "Primary"

• independence
• Not being a burden

Another couple unlabeled:

• safety
• comfort

The next few entries reminded me this was between my son's two deployments.  As I flipped through the pages, I noted entries related to my older sister's breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, so now I have that placed in my memory timeline between the deployments.  It is interesting to me how memory and association of memories encapsulate my sense of time passing.  I am turning into my grandmother.

My sister-in-law was diagnosed with ALS came that same year, later.  The last "regular" entry was Christmas eve 2012.  Then the big gaps began.  On Christmas eve I recorded the news that my son told me via IM that he'd been award a combat action badge, rare for service members with his MOS (military occupational specialty).  It implies that he was involved in a firefight (several months prior) and performed satisfactorily in accordance with the rules of engagement.  After that entry, I went silent until the following April.

Each entry following a "gap" I tried to play catch-up.  During the gap between Christmas eve, 2012 and April 2, 2013, that sister-in-law passed away, my son came home from deployment, and he and his first wife were in process of buying the home he still lives in now.

I only continued entries through April that year and stopped after the Boston Marathon bombing.  The next gap lasted until April 2017... a four-year gap!

Interesting, a time-travel through the paper journal.  I didn't do a very good job filling in that gap.  The four years would have included my brother's passing, my son's divorce, the pandemic, and meeting and marrying my current daughter in law.  It would include their deciding to apply to be foster parents and the arrival of their first "respite" visits.  

I have now started writing a few of my recent "odd" dreams in it.  We shall see whether it becomes an active paper journal again!

Life is still good.  Keep on Sparking!

Ten days later...

 

Going backwards through time, here.  This photo is from the Mothers' Day outing on Saturday.  FGC was with, but as usual, he's being left out of photographic evidence for program reasons.

Said FGC was behind the camera, taking the photo of foster mom and foster grandmas (both of us).

One of the appetizers that we shared around was called Tot-chos, a tater tots version of nachos.  It was really pretty good.  Other offerings were flatbread pizzas and chicken and shrimp on sticks.  Nonalcoholic "fancy drinks" work for both FGC and for me.  One was a strawberry concoction, and we both had that.  There was also one called something like misty dew.  Son was avoiding alcohol for his own reasons that evening and he said it tasted rather like lemon meringue pie.

This has been our mothers' day outing for two years now, with a child involved, so it's kind of locked in as tradition.  The bar has outdoor seating on a balcony on the 6th floor and you can see a whole lot of the University campus from that roof spot.

Saturday morning Ember and I met a former co-worker of mine and her dog Zoe to have the two canines meet and try a parallel leash walk at a nearby park (neutral ground for both dogs).  It went pretty well, for a first meeting between dogs that don't know each other.  As is generally the case, they take their cues from their humans and once they both figured the two humans were OK with each other, they would be OK with the other dog, too.  We will try it again next Saturday, weather permitting.

Back up a day from that and we have Friday May 8th.  Ember and I started off as usual, with our morning rituals, down to poo patrol and the coffee run.  

Then a message popped up from DIL.  My son was headed for the ER.  Didn't matter that it was probably a small thing, just needed attention sooner, rather than later, mom genes kick in.  I spent a couple of hours keeping him company while he languished in triage.  The good thing about boring ER visits is it means the big scary things have been ruled out.  DIL showed up shortly after I did.  She could not concentrate on work.  In the end, they discharged him, sent DIL off to the pharmacy, and the day continued for me in a more normal fashion.

Ember and I went on a longer than usual walk when I got home, then she was ready to collapse in a puddle of warm puppy.  

Backing up to the middle of the week, and we have the setting of a start date for the deck work.  First week in June is the plan.  The contractor would have been OK with starting on the 18th of May, but since I will be getting Carl for a two-dog weekend plus on the 23rd, I did not want to risk something going wrong (bad weather, delivery delay, or any number of things that can happen with house projects) and not having access to my back yard by a simple opening of the door to the deck during my two-dog time!

Also mid-week:  a new fitness watch arrived, and I got it all set up.  I had been wearing the new "cheaper" smart watch for about a month. I have decided the integration of systems does mean something to me. I traded in my Google watch for the new Google 4 version.  The trade-in process was pretty smooth.  They sent packaging, and as is normal these days, there are YouTube videos showing step by step what to do.

Now we get to the "just for fun" photos:

Lap Kitty.

Google Assistant fail.  It got activated accidentally.  It volunteered to "take a selfie".  I spotted the countdown on the screen, 4... 3.. 2, and started to say "Nooooo!"

I thought it was a funny shot, so did not erase it at once, and now it's your giggle for the day!

It would not be an Emberville post without a glamor shot of the star.

Life is good.  Keep on Sparking!

Medicalizing and other stuff

Happy May Day, everyone!

Springtime is deck time at our house.  You can see these are about a week old, because of the lack of leafing out on the branches... just starting in the photos.  There are many more fully leafed-out by posting day.

Remember back when I said I needed to live in the body I now have for six weeks before the next medical test appointment?  Time was ups up on Tuesday the 28th of April. I dropped Ember at daycare, did a few things around the house, then drove to Omaha for the scheduled medical test.  No snow on this drive.  On the way back I got rain.

I go back in mid-May for the next step, which is a solution for the problem (we hope).  Going with the least objectionable option to me.  I'm not a big fan of drugs or surgery.  Fortunately, there is a third option that I think I can live with.  Or at least test out before deciding on medication or surgery.

I was concerned that I would be late collecting Ember, but the doctor was running early, and I was only about half an hour later than usual.  Long day.  

Wednesday Ember and I went on an explore walk, on a couple of different blocks, ones she hadn't been down since she was much younger.  I was very disappointed when we got home and I discovered that RunKeeper had not been tracking.  It turned off when I poked the phone in my pocket, 4 seconds into the walk!  Oh, well, the body keeps its own counts.

Thursday was "financializing" day.  It was also "fight with the tech" day.  I did not get the communication problem between the printer and my router resolved, I suspect it may be a security issue, and I don't know how to fix it.  My printer doesn't have a screen, just icons on the panel. It has to be controlled by software on another device.  It can print out directions as "help" but they are vague enough to be worthless.  The other device software wants printer to already be connected to same router/network as device.  Chicken/egg anyone?

The router, by the way, also does not have local controls, but expects you to log in on a website, with password and user id, and even then, same issues, wants to have the printer already connected.  Sigh and sad.  May have to go old school and get a direct connection style printer!

In the meantime, this meant meeting with the financial guy with hand-scratched notes and a copy of my tax return.  I got the backup dude this time, but he had been in on the last meeting with the original guy.  Seems we had the same discussion that has been ongoing for several years, but in the end, it was "stay the course".  From the financial perspective, it's "wait and see".  Funny, that's sort of the same as the medical perspective!  Try this and see.  Wait and see.

Ember and the squirrel (on the fence post to the right). This is a beat before I said, "Go get him!" and she did, silently.  She charged at the fence, chased the squirrel two posts along, until squirrel wisely crossed over to the other side of the fence and out of Ember's line of sight.  At this point, my retriever decided to go off and find something more interesting to do.  I mean, after all, she did as mom asked, and told the squirrel that he didn't belong there, but after he's doing squirrel things in somebody else's yard, not her problem.

My sole news comment of the week?  I've always been a bit of an Anglophile.  I enjoyed the sanity, diplomacy, and humor that King Charles III brought to his state visit to the US.  Not that I want ANY king, but as kings go, this guy is a good 'un.  Our legal heritage is an extension of the limits the nobility put on the kings in the country that became the United Kingdom.

End of May, I will have two dogs for a week or so.  Carl and Ember will have another chance to corrupt each other.  Maybe Carl will teach Ember about sleeping in a puppy pile.  Maybe he will teach her the joys of barking at squirrels.  Or maybe she will teach him the effectiveness of the silent (non-barking anyway) chase.  Just like people, they all have their own personalities.

I forget which day care day The Prisoner curled up on the couch, but here he is.  Proof of continued life!  Life is good.  Keep on keeping on, i.e. Sparking!