I pulled an old paper journal off the shelf

I pulled an old paper journal off the shelf

In it, I discovered the reason why we journal (those of us who do).  I found entries that described dreams I had forgotten about.  I discovered large gaps in time.  My last entry in this particular volume was in 2018, before my brother passed.  I had started it in 2011, before I retired, and in the initial entries, I dedicated it to discovering myself.

"Every time I have an interaction with another person, it contributes to my cumulative concept of myself.

"Did my behavior in that interaction live up to that concept?  Or did it reveal something about me that will alter that concept?"  May 29, 2011

From a timeline perspective, this would be the end of the month of my first half marathon.  I was clearly (from the writings) working on the food side of the health equation, working on abstinence from overeating / binge eating.  I talked of living in accordance with one's values to achieve inner peace.

I labeled these as my values:

• kindness
• tolerance
• intelligence
• health
• preparedness
• planning

Then I added a couple that I marked as one I felt I "ought" to value, but that my behavior was not supporting

• organization
• order

I'm not sure why I put these down, but I labeled them as "Primary"

• independence
• Not being a burden

Another couple unlabeled:

• safety
• comfort

The next few entries reminded me this was between my son's two deployments.  As I flipped through the pages, I noted entries related to my older sister's breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, so now I have that placed in my memory timeline between the deployments.  It is interesting to me how memory and association of memories encapsulate my sense of time passing.  I am turning into my grandmother.

My sister-in-law was diagnosed with ALS came that same year, later.  The last "regular" entry was Christmas eve 2012.  Then the big gaps began.  On Christmas eve I recorded the news that my son told me via IM that he'd been award a combat action badge, rare for service members with his MOS (military occupational specialty).  It implies that he was involved in a firefight (several months prior) and performed satisfactorily in accordance with the rules of engagement.  After that entry, I went silent until the following April.

Each entry following a "gap" I tried to play catch-up.  During the gap between Christmas eve, 2012 and April 2, 2013, that sister-in-law passed away, my son came home from deployment, and he and his first wife were in process of buying the home he still lives in now.

I only continued entries through April that year and stopped after the Boston Marathon bombing.  The next gap lasted until April 2017... a four-year gap!

Interesting, a time-travel through the paper journal.  I didn't do a very good job filling in that gap.  The four years would have included my brother's passing, my son's divorce, the pandemic, and meeting and marrying my current daughter in law.  It would include their deciding to apply to be foster parents and the arrival of their first "respite" visits.  

I have now started writing a few of my recent "odd" dreams in it.  We shall see whether it becomes an active paper journal again!

Life is still good.  Keep on Sparking!

Ten days later...

 

Going backwards through time, here.  This photo is from the Mothers' Day outing on Saturday.  FGC was with, but as usual, he's being left out of photographic evidence for program reasons.

Said FGC was behind the camera, taking the photo of foster mom and foster grandmas (both of us).

One of the appetizers that we shared around was called Tot-chos, a tater tots version of nachos.  It was really pretty good.  Other offerings were flatbread pizzas and chicken and shrimp on sticks.  Nonalcoholic "fancy drinks" work for both FGC and for me.  One was a strawberry concoction, and we both had that.  There was also one called something like misty dew.  Son was avoiding alcohol for his own reasons that evening and he said it tasted rather like lemon meringue pie.

This has been our mothers' day outing for two years now, with a child involved, so it's kind of locked in as tradition.  The bar has outdoor seating on a balcony on the 6th floor and you can see a whole lot of the University campus from that roof spot.

Saturday morning Ember and I met a former co-worker of mine and her dog Zoe to have the two canines meet and try a parallel leash walk at a nearby park (neutral ground for both dogs).  It went pretty well, for a first meeting between dogs that don't know each other.  As is generally the case, they take their cues from their humans and once they both figured the two humans were OK with each other, they would be OK with the other dog, too.  We will try it again next Saturday, weather permitting.

Back up a day from that and we have Friday May 8th.  Ember and I started off as usual, with our morning rituals, down to poo patrol and the coffee run.  

Then a message popped up from DIL.  My son was headed for the ER.  Didn't matter that it was probably a small thing, just needed attention sooner, rather than later, mom genes kick in.  I spent a couple of hours keeping him company while he languished in triage.  The good thing about boring ER visits is it means the big scary things have been ruled out.  DIL showed up shortly after I did.  She could not concentrate on work.  In the end, they discharged him, sent DIL off to the pharmacy, and the day continued for me in a more normal fashion.

Ember and I went on a longer than usual walk when I got home, then she was ready to collapse in a puddle of warm puppy.  

Backing up to the middle of the week, and we have the setting of a start date for the deck work.  First week in June is the plan.  The contractor would have been OK with starting on the 18th of May, but since I will be getting Carl for a two-dog weekend plus on the 23rd, I did not want to risk something going wrong (bad weather, delivery delay, or any number of things that can happen with house projects) and not having access to my back yard by a simple opening of the door to the deck during my two-dog time!

Also mid-week:  a new fitness watch arrived, and I got it all set up.  I had been wearing the new "cheaper" smart watch for about a month. I have decided the integration of systems does mean something to me. I traded in my Google watch for the new Google 4 version.  The trade-in process was pretty smooth.  They sent packaging, and as is normal these days, there are YouTube videos showing step by step what to do.

Now we get to the "just for fun" photos:

Lap Kitty.

Google Assistant fail.  It got activated accidentally.  It volunteered to "take a selfie".  I spotted the countdown on the screen, 4... 3.. 2, and started to say "Nooooo!"

I thought it was a funny shot, so did not erase it at once, and now it's your giggle for the day!

It would not be an Emberville post without a glamor shot of the star.

Life is good.  Keep on Sparking!

Medicalizing and other stuff

Happy May Day, everyone!

Springtime is deck time at our house.  You can see these are about a week old, because of the lack of leafing out on the branches... just starting in the photos.  There are many more fully leafed-out by posting day.

Remember back when I said I needed to live in the body I now have for six weeks before the next medical test appointment?  Time was ups up on Tuesday the 28th of April. I dropped Ember at daycare, did a few things around the house, then drove to Omaha for the scheduled medical test.  No snow on this drive.  On the way back I got rain.

I go back in mid-May for the next step, which is a solution for the problem (we hope).  Going with the least objectionable option to me.  I'm not a big fan of drugs or surgery.  Fortunately, there is a third option that I think I can live with.  Or at least test out before deciding on medication or surgery.

I was concerned that I would be late collecting Ember, but the doctor was running early, and I was only about half an hour later than usual.  Long day.  

Wednesday Ember and I went on an explore walk, on a couple of different blocks, ones she hadn't been down since she was much younger.  I was very disappointed when we got home and I discovered that RunKeeper had not been tracking.  It turned off when I poked the phone in my pocket, 4 seconds into the walk!  Oh, well, the body keeps its own counts.

Thursday was "financializing" day.  It was also "fight with the tech" day.  I did not get the communication problem between the printer and my router resolved, I suspect it may be a security issue, and I don't know how to fix it.  My printer doesn't have a screen, just icons on the panel. It has to be controlled by software on another device.  It can print out directions as "help" but they are vague enough to be worthless.  The other device software wants printer to already be connected to same router/network as device.  Chicken/egg anyone?

The router, by the way, also does not have local controls, but expects you to log in on a website, with password and user id, and even then, same issues, wants to have the printer already connected.  Sigh and sad.  May have to go old school and get a direct connection style printer!

In the meantime, this meant meeting with the financial guy with hand-scratched notes and a copy of my tax return.  I got the backup dude this time, but he had been in on the last meeting with the original guy.  Seems we had the same discussion that has been ongoing for several years, but in the end, it was "stay the course".  From the financial perspective, it's "wait and see".  Funny, that's sort of the same as the medical perspective!  Try this and see.  Wait and see.

Ember and the squirrel (on the fence post to the right). This is a beat before I said, "Go get him!" and she did, silently.  She charged at the fence, chased the squirrel two posts along, until squirrel wisely crossed over to the other side of the fence and out of Ember's line of sight.  At this point, my retriever decided to go off and find something more interesting to do.  I mean, after all, she did as mom asked, and told the squirrel that he didn't belong there, but after he's doing squirrel things in somebody else's yard, not her problem.

My sole news comment of the week?  I've always been a bit of an Anglophile.  I enjoyed the sanity, diplomacy, and humor that King Charles III brought to his state visit to the US.  Not that I want ANY king, but as kings go, this guy is a good 'un.  Our legal heritage is an extension of the limits the nobility put on the kings in the country that became the United Kingdom.

End of May, I will have two dogs for a week or so.  Carl and Ember will have another chance to corrupt each other.  Maybe Carl will teach Ember about sleeping in a puppy pile.  Maybe he will teach her the joys of barking at squirrels.  Or maybe she will teach him the effectiveness of the silent (non-barking anyway) chase.  Just like people, they all have their own personalities.

I forget which day care day The Prisoner curled up on the couch, but here he is.  Proof of continued life!  Life is good.  Keep on keeping on, i.e. Sparking!

It's Springtime (go ahead and sing along...)

 

Springtime brings storm fronts, sometimes hail, sometimes rain, sometimes tornados.  This was Thursday the 23rd of April 2026, from my front porch, looking west.  Front coming through.  A couple of seconds after I snapped this one, a gust knocked over my patio chair, so I put it away in the garage.

I went out to take the photo because across town, "the kids" were having quarter sized hail.  To their east (my north), DIL's parents got a slew of tiny hailstones (pea sized).  I got... a few splotchy raindrops that evaporated.  And that wind.  A little while later, some rain that wet down the deck and the street but did not last very long.

It's been a busy week and a bit since I last posted.  In the meantime, I submitted my primary ballot.  I signed a couple of petitions to get issues on the ballot for November.  Returned two library books and switched authors since the next book by the same author wasn't on the shelf.

I did usual errands:  fill tank with gas.  Buy groceries.  Walk the dog.  Accept delivery of softener salt for the house.  The bug guys called to set their next appointment for Tuesday the 28th.

A few seasonal items:  the lawn guy came out to inspect and turn on the sprinkler system.

Took Dexter the car in for his semi-annual oil change and while they were at it, had them check the A/C and repair if needed.  $$$ later, I have nice cooling air in the car.  Ember will appreciate this as the weather heats up, I'm certain.

Watched TV coverage of the Boston Marathon (tradition) on Monday the 20th.  I get nostalgic vibes of my brother.  Part of my honoring ritual to watch that race, and for certain landmarks along the route.

The day before that we had a family luncheon in honor of "the kids" 3rd Wedding Anniversary (which was really on Tuesday, but we lunched on Sunday).  Mourned that the original date of Arbor Day (April 22nd) was used as "Earth Day".  I've never got over that and grip every year!  However, they did turn Arbor Day into a local 3-day holiday so Friday the 24th was observed in Nebraska as Arbor Day.

Dog hair cleanup, Tuesday April 14th, 2026.  This was under Ember's crate.  Ember came home sweet smelling and soft.  She has done her best to roll in foul smelling stuff ever since, of course!

Crate corner, after mopping the floor, before putting the crate back.  Enjoy it while I can, the hair will be back in a flash!

The Prisoner in Springtime, 2026.

The doggo always wins when you play tug with her favorite hunting / retrieving dummy.  She will drop it for a treat, though.

Life goes on.  Life is good.  Keep Sparking, my friends!

Life goes on

Brief comment about the news of late:  I'm sorry, but I'm tired of this S***!  I shall ignore the state of the wider world for the remainder of this entry.  This, I am told, is a symptom of privilege.

Thinking of the Artemis II and ISS crews when I snapped this photo.  I had listened to the respectful communications between the two crews out there beyond Earth's atmosphere and that is an uplifting thought.  The expression that we would "always come home to earth" is a hope that we treat each other and the planet well, so that it can remain a home for humanity.

The week wandered to its routine end, with dog-walks and nice days, and human errands and rides in the car.  I think it was Monday the 13th when I had one of those moments when I considered just never blogging again!

I held off on writing a "goodbye" kind of post, though, because I know myself well enough to know I would write again.  It's how I process all the loose ends of life.  

Sure enough, here I am, ten days after the last time I clicked on "Publish", consolidating three half begun posts into one.  

Because it's Emberville, we have to put this part in

Ember shook me up with a couple of behaviors that I was not prepared for.  The first involved jumping up on a fellow dog-mom as said human came out the door from dropping her own pooch at day-care.  Ember is always full of herself on Tuesday mornings.  I should have seen it coming but I wasn't in position and didn't have my pup under control.  My fault.  Fellow dog-mom was very gracious about it, BUT!  Don't want that to happen again.   

The next morning at the end of our neighborhood leash-walk, Ember and I were coming across our own front lawn.  This is a relatively recent modification to how we end the walk.  It all depends on the route we have taken.

Bella (an older yellow lab) was walking across the front of the property (with her dad on leash).  Again, I wasn't prepared for what Ember was going to do.  We've been so good lately!  Ember was so excited to see Bella. She did a big play-bow, so I should have known she would pull toward her friend.  I was at the top of the lawn that sweeps down toward the street.  When she started to move toward Bella, I felt myself starting to tip, and instinctively dropped my end of the leash.

Both dogs were excitedly greeting, now one on leash (Bella) and the other dragging hers (Ember). Thankfully, Bella's dad is an experienced dog owner.  He told Ember to "go home" in a firm voice, while telling Bella to settle down.  Unfortunately, I don't think Ember knows "go home" as a cue.

Bella's dad also took the opportunity to pick up the human end of Ember's leash.  Like I said, experienced dog dude.  Meanwhile, I walked about 10 more steps to enter the code to open the garage door.  I dropped a treat on the driveway to distract Bella.  Bella's dad transferred Ember's leash to me.  I proceeded to open the car door and she jumped in, anticipating our normal after walk car ride.  Bella and her dad continued their walk.  Took a while to get my own heart calmed down.

Bottom line, Ember and I have a way to go on the "calm greetings" manners!  Her cousin Carl (now six years old) has never learned "calm" when it comes to greeting Grandma, if that's any predictor of success in this endeavor.

Keeping the economy moving, one project at a time

Every year as Spring rolls around all the "need to take care of this" projects around the house and yard crop up.  Spending money becomes the big thing.  But with inflation going on, it gets more painful than usual.

I made a list (who among my readers does not make lists and tick them off?)  On Tuesday the 14th, I started working my way down that list making phone calls.  I think I have blogged in the past (maybe all the way back when the platform was SparkPeople) that I really don't like making phone calls.  When I pull all my energy together and make myself do it, I feel both accomplished and exhausted.  I second guess everything I said.  That goes without saying, right?

I scheduled a Handyman to come out and look at three or four items I'd been dragging my feet on.  He came on Wednesday, painted a couple of spots on the house, helped me take apart the camera doorbell and plug it in to charge, and made a recommendation about the on-again off-again light in the bathroom off the master bedroom.

You can't really see the crack in the pane in this photo.  This was before the handy dude went off to find a piece of acrylic to replace it.

Turns out the pane that cracked was real glass, so that's now in the trash.  Ember was pretty good through all of this, as the handyman was here for a couple of hours, and she had to be contained, so as to avoid putting her nose in places it's not safe for a puppy to be.  Part of the time she was in crate, part of the time on leash with me, and part of the time she lounged in Dexter (the car)'s backseat.

All fixed, reflecting the neighboring house.

Before Scott the Handyman came, I contacted the gent who did my son's deck.  He came to look at mine and give me an idea of how much it would cost to replace it.  We discussed a couple of design options, and he sent me the estimate.  I am still working on navigating how one signs contracts and makes it happen in this new "gig economy" world, because after the initial estimate came, I had second thoughts about the design.  I know that will make the cost go up.  I don't want to sign "accept" on the initial estimate without knowing how much more the final is going to be.  

I made an appointment for the car's Spring servicing, and for the annual house A/C check.  I called the lawn guys to leave a message about them coming to turn on my sprinkler system.  The only folks I didn't call were the bug guys, because they normally come in May, and depending on when the deck work takes place, I want them after that is done.

Now maybe I can have calm and smooth and boring and repetitive for a while, and Ember won't rile me up... 

Life is good.  Keep on Sparking!  

 

Two years of dog-mom!

 

Happy "Gotcha Day" to Ember, who joined my household two years ago March 31st.  We celebrated with a drive-thru kiddy cone at a nearby DQ, a day early, because the thermometer was telling us our town broke the record high for the day.  Ember polished off her half of the cone and then was leaning over the seat of the car, staring at MY half! 

Artemis II launch lifted my spirits.  So much not hopeful in the news, great to see something long planned pulled off.

I am definitely feeling overpeopled.  

We had rain on Thursday.  Misty morning on Friday.  I was kind of out of it and ordered the wrong thing at the coffee drive-thru.  The crew "caught it" and questioned at the window if that was what I really wanted.  "Was that what I said?  I guess I'll take it."  But they fixed me my regular drink anyway, and gave me the milkbone for the puppers.

I filled my Dexter's gas tank, too.  Ouch!  Would you believe under six gallons for almost 20 bucks?  

Seriously, I am bummed about the state of the country.  I am bummed that we are getting into another of those wars that is oh, so hard to get OUT of.  While my son is hopefully past the "let's go sign up phase" having a wife and child who need him, having veterans who rely on his assistance... there are other mothers, other sons and daughters, other husbands and wives, fathers and mothers.  

Artemis II was halfway to the moon as I got up on Saturday morning.  Onward!

Speaking of Saturday morning, The Prisoner decided he did not want to go outside, nor did he want to return to his "safe zone" in the laundry room.  He perched on the kitchen counter and showed no signs of wanting to move.

I let Ember out of her crate, just to see how they would interact.  We had a ballet dance of "let the kitty get away", that involved Mom putting the harness and leash onto Ember while she was mouthing the cat.  The Prisoner appeared to be putting up zero resistance to the dog's attentions.  Eventually, I managed to get them separated, and the front door opened to let The Prisoner retain his dignity by going outside while Ember stayed in.  Good exercise for both their brains.  Good confidence builder for Mom in terms of both animals letting her intervene.  Detente continues.  

When it came time for Ember's morning nap (after the usual rituals had been observed), she didn't even ask to go out to chase the kitty, but went on in to her crate, accepted her cookie, and let me open the back door for The Prisoner and escort him to his luxury suite in the laundry room.

Saturday was very own Ember's Easter Egg hunt.   

12 plastic eggs loaded with doggy treats.  She did manage to find all the treats, and she enjoyed cracking the eggs.  Only about half of them got destroyed in the process. 

Easter Sunday I packed up a fruit tray to take over to the brunch at the Mythical Son's house.  Ember went down for her puppy nap in time for me to have a quick shower before heading over.  I left her napping in her crate for the duration.

Since Ember did not come, they were able to hide the eggs and shift the egg hunt in the backyard before the meal.  This was a great "burn off some energy" for both foster grand kiddo and the grand dog, Carl.

A scene undoubtedly repeated over and over across the land.  Yes, the kiddo climbed a tree to retrieve an egg.  He managed to rip his pants getting down.  Fortunately, the "other grandma" says she can mend them.

DIL served customized mini-quiches, to suit the varied preferences (some folks don't care for peppers, some like hotter, we all are good on cheese and sausage, etc.), asparagus tips, tater tots, the fruit tray, and coffee cake.  Oof... didn't eat again until suppertime!

That's about enough for a weekly blog.  Here's hoping you all had the holiday that your own tradition holds dear, and that it was good.

Life is good.  Its renewal in Spring is good.  Peace is good, and we pray for that, worldwide.  Keep the spark shining in your hearts and with your actions!

Peopling this week

 

Chirping birds are part of the Spring portion of the year.  The first-grade music program included some poetry, some percussion, and of course singing.  They did pieces for all four seasons.  It was so much fun seeing all the little personalities forming, some so excited they were dancing.  Beads, bows and sparkly and colorful dresses made it a "big deal" for the little girls.  There are six classes of first graders at this school, so they split it into two evenings.  Tuesday night three other classes performed, and Wednesday my foster grand kiddo's class and two others took the stage.

His regular teacher (the one he started out the year with) is on maternity leave, and she brought the new baby.  I'm pretty sure she stopped by the music room where they were prepping before she came and took her seat in the front row.  Some of the kids in the audience (siblings?  former students?) went over to see the new little one, and all the parents in the audience were pleased to see her.  Such a supportive teacher.  For that matter, the whole school is pretty terrific.

DIL behind the camera again, but she took a photo of FGC's fan club, waiting for the program to begin.  Don't you love it when the kids wave at their people in the crowd?  FGC was not one of them, but several others were.  One little girl on the end was signing the song, but since I can't tell if it was true ASL or her own invention.  But she was just so precious!

Fast forward through a normal Thursday and Friday to a chilly Saturday morning.

It was No Kings Day III.  Very well organized, stretched for two miles along the hiker/biker trail on the South side of town (my neck of the woods).  The kids and I missed one another, although we were in messenger contact.

I did not take many photos.  I was very grateful for the large contingent of "Safety Team" folks in bright reflective vests.  One of them helped me step down from the level of the parking lot where I left the car over low-lying shrubbery.  She also helped make sure the traffic (which was crazy) let the people who wanted to cross at the crosswalk could do so.  I pulled my old "wave the arms overhead" trick to make sure the drivers could see me, and did the same on the return trip, as there was a family crossing at the same time, carrying two small children!

DIL shared her own photos, and I'll share the ones that don't show FGC's face.  Here is FGC and the Mythical Son, starting to walk along the trail.

FGC holding up his sign and getting honks from the passing traffic.  That part he liked.  My generation was once again well represented.  Veterans, many flags, creative signs.  One of my favorites was "Too Many Issues for just one sign".  At one point a group behind me started the "Hey hey! Ho Ho!" chant, and I took it up, which of course started those standing beside the path to take it up as well.

I kept moving, clocking about 2.5 miles in total.  I went from one busy intersection, under another, to the next one, then turned around and came back.  Conversations along the way, sort of like the "instant friends" I always made at running events.

The only photo I took was of a dog in a slogan shirt.  Everyone was polite, it was peaceful.  The only crowd estimate I have seen was vague, it only said "hundreds".  That seems a little low to me, but I know you can put six people across on that trail.  That would be three abreast moving in each direction in the places where it got crowded, and many people were just staying in one place at the side of the trail, holding their signs and chatting.  There was still space to move about.  I guess to say "thousands" it would have to be at least 2,000.  If you can't guarantee it's that much, "hundreds" would be accurate.  

We shall wait and see what numbers get claimed nationwide.  All in all, I'm glad I went.

Life is good.  Spark on!